When I want to blame others or the system or the world for not being what I want them to be, I remind myself to be the role model I’m longing for. I cannot control anyone else, so at least I can take responsibility to BE what I want myself, and even better, contribute what I can to better the situation for everyone.
Many times, I’ve been hurt and disappointed by people I considered role models, teachers, or guides. I’m super grateful for these lessons. They helped me see how I was making myself ‘lesser’ and not accessing my own inner wisdom and power.
I was projecting on them my need for ‘perfect parenting’ that they actually never signed up for. Where I thought someone had betrayed me, in fact, I had betrayed myself. I was needing self-parenting and to listen to my inner knowing, but I was scared. I was projecting on to them the role model and leader I wanted to be for myself and my own life. I just didn’t know it yet.
An outer role model is simply a mirror of your higher self.
How totally normal to long for that which your own soul is here to bring. The discomfort and process of projection and betrayal is a normal step to stepping into conscious leadership and soul purpose. It is the teacher. It’s important to pay attention so and catch the gold, rather than tumble in blame and shame.
The pain I felt at those times of letdown, comes back to me every so often, when I forget or deny my own place as guide, teacher or role model. Just by being here, I am that. You are too.
I encourage you to give it a try with me. In the moments when it feels like someone is not meeting your expectations (especially those unnamed expectations), ask yourself “what kind of role model do I want to be in this situation?” “what is this pain or frustration showing me?”
The pain is the teacher.
Of course, you will still feel the hurt of being let down at times, and this hurt is the gift, just reminding you to see the projection. The key, most importantly, is to go hunting for the need or longing that lies beneath the hurt and pain. This is the gold. With this wisdom you can consciously step into your true path as leader of your own life.
There’s no value or positive outcome to blaming other. It’s an invitation to feel your inner goodness and greatness. It’s a reminder to be the reflection of goodness and greatness for other too.
We are all guides and teachers and role models, and we are all students. Every day offers opportunities.
So today I ask:
Will I be a role model today? Will you be mine? Will I be yours?
I’ll do my best and give it a go.
And when I seem to fail for you, perhaps there is wisdom there too, and it’s a reminder to you to go hunting for your own goodness and greatness inside. And when I forget, perhaps your reflection will help me remember too.
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