So I’d like to share with you today something I am madly passionate about, so much so that I have dedicated (at least) my last 6 years completely to this. (warning: I am madly passionate about this!)
That something is “Relationships” – how we relate to each other, which of course stems from how we relate to ourselves and Life. I call it “Conscious Connecting”.
I am going to attempt to gradually find written words to share my experiences with you. This is a start.
What I see around me is a society very, very confused about love, intimacy and relating, especially between men and women, and a lot of people suffering as a result.
In fact, rather than experiencing love, intimacy and conscious connecting, a lot of people are stuck in fear, control, attachment and projection, wrapped up together and called ‘love’. I was there and sometimes still am.
The unspoken truths often sound like:
If you are like this then I will love / accept you.You need to love me like this. I will be better if only I am loved / understood / have a man or woman who …..
I’m hearing about it again and again as if love has a limitation and therefore can be withdrawn or withheld by someone else, thus creating the belief that “I am unloveable”, or that love needs to be withheld by us to ‘protect’ ourselves.
This breaks my heart. This is not love.
Yes, we are good people and we are all doing the best we can…. within a very confused, wounded society based on fear and limiting beliefs that are propagated by our education, culture, religion, the media and dare I say it, our egos! Oh yes, why else would it be so all-prevailing?
I’m also seeing a society where there is so much projection and blame and “trying hard to work it out” with our heads, that men are now confused about how to be men, and women are confused about how to be women.
I’m seeing so many people who’s bodies are crying out for touch and intimacy. I feel people’s profound longing for deep vulnerable authentic connection, just to be seen and felt and heard for who they are. And I’m not talking about just traditional man-woman couples. I’m talking about our basic needs for connection in all sorts of ways.
So many good men are now in fear of their own nature, their sexuality, their innate strengths and goodness, denying the incredible wisdom of their lingam power to penetrate this world with consciousness. So many women in fear of their own wild nature, denying their sexuality (aka life-force) in case they are “too much” and could once more be burned at the stake, thus denying themselves and this world of the feminine wisdom that is so desperately needed right now.
So little awareness of conscious and clearly expressed boundaries!! Men playing small and not owning, mastering and channeling their sexual energy as if it were something out of their control. Women using their power in shadow ways to play victim, manipulate and therefore disempower. The #metoo campaign is identifying the confusion and yet amplifying the wounding, separation and fear in many ways.
So much focus on the “couple” that people have actually lost touch completely with what love, compassion, connection and intimacy really mean.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaarh! It makes me scream with rage and pain and frustration. It literally aches in my body to experience this in the world.
Come on people, let’s wake up…. and remember!
Deep breath, in and out. Ok, I did warn you that I am passionate about this. Why? Because there is another way.
I was numb to this for a long time. I came into this world with another understanding and experience in my body of love, together with my own past life and karmic baggage! Confused by what I experienced, I shut down as I got shown and educated other ways of relating. It took me a long time to question, to go beyond the ‘norms’, to get fed up of feeling locked inside, to remember and realise that I knew something else and went searching for it.
It seems strange, yes, that we all need to unlearn old-conditioning to actually remember, learn, experience and/or practice how to be ourselves and be together in loving, compassionate and intimate ways! And yet our nervous systems actually need new embodied experiences. This is the only way to shift from old limiting beliefs based on real or interpreted experiences and wounds of some kind or another, whether rejection, humiliation, betrayal, abandonment, injustice etc.
As you can imagine I have A LOT to say about this as I’ve dedicated myself completely to exploring this through countless experiences, trainings, retreats, workshops and of course relating in life itself, for the past 6 years.
I don’t have all the tools and answers but I love asking us to question our limitations and especially to listen to the wisdom of our bodies. I share this with passion and a lot of compassion in the sessions and workshops, to create to new embodied experiences and conscious connections between people.
We do hold fear and trauma in our bodies so it does require a lot of compassion and safety to explore opening ourselves to conscious connection and real love. I take this part very seriously.
For now, I better stop. I’d love to hear your reactions.
And I’d love to invite you to one of our “Conscious Connecting” gatherings between men and women. Check the calendar for upcoming events.
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