Women's Circles are not Safe
Can I trust you? The world is not trustworthy until you can trust yourself, and be fully present to all of yourself. Let's be honest, a group of women sitting in Circle is not necessarily 'safe'. Women can hurt and betray women. The sisterhood wound runs deep. But playing ‘nice’ is far from safety.
Safety is created because you BRING the safety. Each woman in the Circle must commit to creating safety through wholehearted presence and honesty, and showing up for that no matter what. (For now I'm talking about women's circles as we have the Full Moon series, but this is the case for all Circles)
Yes, I work with strong agreements. Yes, I hold the space with safety as a primary intention. I take that role very seriously. And I work with a lot of awareness and experience to cultivate that safety on all levels (because a lot of it is in the subtle emotional-energetic space).
But that doesn't make it 'safe'. Even with my best of intentions there have been times when someone felt hurt and deeply triggered, by me, someone else or by something happening in the space. this is intense work and it touches us deeply. It's how we meet that discomfort and pain that creates safety. Avoiding discomfort and challenging truths does not make it safe.
The moment you don't feel safe because an old trauma or wound has woken up, it’s easy to project outside of you that the space is not safe, or a person is not safe. It may or may not be safe but your nervous system is on alert for sure.
This is the CORE of our work. This is how we get to consciously bring PRESENCE and TENDERNESS to our wounded parts, hold PATIENCE and COMPASSION for each other, listen to UNDERSTAND, take RESPONSIBILITY for expressing our own needs and for being fully present in our HEARTS. Because if we don't do that we cannot meet as EQUALS, as SISTERS, as COMMUNITY or move forward TOGETHER.
Safety is built actively and on a moment to moment basis. We must choose to build safety together, consciously, knowing that it brings a deeper experience of BELONGING. And with more people belonging, we can finally go beyond fight for survival, to thrive. it benefits everyone.
Safety is something we must each commit to and strive for. Safety comes from within. We must learn how it FEELS inside our own bodies. This can take time. We can help each other for this. And it's a practice we must do patiently and consistently together. We need each other to grow into remembering LOVE.
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