A dialogue with my inner Warrior of Compassion

authenticity freedom love Jan 22, 2019

"It takes courage to live in this world and it takes courage to love in this world."

A quote from Dan Millman

I agree. It takes a warrior spirit to keep choosing to open our hearts and dive into our vulnerability in order to be an expression of compassion for change.

My inner dialogue might go something like this: 

I feel a surge of disappointment rising. Like a dark cloud passing in front of the sun, I am plunged into the darkness. I know this place. I don't like this place. Oh no! not again. I feel my rib-cage tightening and my heart closing as my thoughts get heavy and the whole world - out there - seems dull and disappointing through these darkened lenses. I feel bad so my mind thinks I am bad. I feel worthless and unloveable, so I judge and push everyone away. I resist. I fight. But I'm firmly stuck here in the mud and it feels ugly. 

"My love. Be gentle with yourself," says my inner Warrior of Compassion. "How human of you to feel this....

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To the men. What does it take?

Dear brothers, 

Yep, you will see quite a few posts and programmes here for women. This one is only for you because you are important. At the core of all I do, the deepest longing in my heart, is that we come together, consciously, compassionately and support each other as human beings, beyond gender, to bring out the most potent, vibrant, healthy versions of ourselves. 

This was text I included in my recent message to the women in the Living Sacred Womanhood project:

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What about the Men ?

We acknowledge the real challenges and honour the greatness of men, our brothers. We, as women, come together to do our work to heal and cultivate that which is uniquely female, in order to be better prepared to initiate our brothers, bow at their feet, receive their gifts, meet heart to heart, and stand side by side, in equal measure.

We respect and are grateful to the men that do their own work together to heal and cultivate that which is...

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How I learned to be vulnerable in public and let in more love

In December 2013 I sat amongst over 300 people at Christian Pankhurst’s Heart Summit in Holland. I felt a part of me wanting to run screaming out of that huge circular room filled with all these strangers learning to feel more and be present in their hearts.

There was a part of me so afraid to be seen and to feel embarrassed or not good enough or unloveable.

The part of me that liked to keep everything in my environment under ‘control’ so that I didn’t need to feel vulnerable or feel what I didn’t like to feel was totally overwhelmed and freaking out.

As a highly sensitive empath everything in that room felt amplified 100 times.

I wanted out of there. I wanted to be alone to sort myself out and put everything back under control before coming back into the space, showing up just how I like to be!!

Have you ever felt like this?

 

In that moment, I didn’t leave. I put up my hand.

As the microphone got passed...

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The Sacred Pilgrimage of Life

I choose to experience this lifetime as a journey, as a sacred pilgrimage, as an adventure deeper into the unknown, into the wilderness, with no fixed destination in mind as this would only limit my journey to that which I already know.
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I wish to experience the journey with open heart and open mind and open senses so as to be fully available to the wisdom revealing itself to me and the guidance emerging for each next step.
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I choose to feel my vulnerability as this journey unfolds and to meet it all with courage and humility.
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The more I let go of the ‘me’ and ‘mine’, the more I open to ‘we’ and ‘us’, the more I am touched and humbled by the wings of Grace embracing and guiding all that is part of this magnificent voyage.
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May we all find our joyful travel mates and always see the hand reaching out in support.
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May we take our turn to courageously and wholeheartedly lead the way.
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May we always remember to look back and to wait patiently...

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From my Rest Cave, I call for a Rest Revolution

So I’ve been in my personal rest cave for a few days and today as I emerge out of my cave I can really feel the benefits. Ah, my heart is open to receive and share with joy, compassion and love. My mind is more clear and I can discern more easily what is my truth, what is good for me and what not. What is a “no” and what is a “hell yes!”. I can see more clearly the vibrant colours of Life.
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I am filled with creativity, hope and optimism. I envision limitless potential. Self-worth, inner knowing and courage have taken the place of fear, doubt and anxiety. I feel soft in my body, with a deep sense of trust in life.
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I realise that these moments of withdrawal, deep rest and letting go are so essential for me to stay aligned with my truth, in-tune with my body, and the rhythms of Nature that are affecting me.
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Anyone else feeling this need for regular retreat? It seems to me to be the only way to navigate this fast-moving, over-stimulated, externally-focused...

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New Year Resolution Revolution: From planning to listening

Here we are in 2018! A new beginning invites curiosity, hope, inspiration, and dreaming….. and maybe some hidden anxiety ? 

I notice that if I am not careful, I fall into old patterns of over-planning and planning to do too much.

How about you?

When I stop to notice, I realise that this over-planning and setting resolutions that require more doing is driven by my head and the fear of ‘lack’ or not being enough already.

It’s also the desire to have everything under control and fear of the unknown outside the edges of my comfort zone.

However, this creates an underlying, often unconscious, low vibration anxiety that affects my nervous system, my digestive system, my sleep, and my organs, especially my liver, and therefore I start to get muscle tension.

Isn’t it fascinating?!!

What once seemed like positive thinking was actually keeping me locked in old patriarchal ways.

These old ways also...

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Navigating the Dark

I seem to be apologising a lot lately! My shadow side showing up and getting projected out on to others. Perhaps it’s a quick cutting comment, or an energetic withdrawal and being cold, or more easily being in conflict. Sometimes it’s a sense of inner turmoil and feeling down, with self-doubt and addictive or self-defeating patterns showing up. Bleh! I don’t like when this is going on. I feel my body tense and a bit numb to emotions. I feel my vibrations low. I can sense I’m being protective or defensive. My mind is not trustworthy.

It’s a bit like walking through a bog (very Irish analogy), trying to tip-toe through, yet every so often dropping in up to your knees, or even falling flat on your face in the mud, and then blaming someone else rather than laughing out loud and rolling around in it!

Does any of this resonate for you? I’m hearing it from many people these days.

But of course!! Of course it’s so strong right now at the time...

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Stalking Awareness of Yourself

STALKING AWARENESS is a powerful shamanic practice to hunt out your absolute truth, including by stalking your deep inner wisdom, your shadows, and hidden truths…

Just like a great hunter, stalking your truth requires:

  1. RUTHLESS HONESTY to penetrate to your core, to meet what you fear might be ugly, messy or unlovable.
  2. CUNNINGNESS to catch the tricks of the mind and the ego which will do anything to avoid feeling pain or shame.
  3. GENTLENESS to understand and love the old strategies developed when they were needed in order to ‘survive’ as a child seeking love and acceptance. 
  4. PATIENCE to let the shadows feel safe enough to be seen fully in the light.


Are you ready for the HUNT my friends?

 

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What is Shakti and how ‘she’ changed my life?

 

‘Shakti’ and ‘Kundalini’ are words from the ancient Sanskrit language, yet they’re being used more and more today in our Western culture. Perhaps you’ve heard me using these terms a lot in my classes, bodywork and women’s gatherings. So why’s this? In this post, I will share a little about what it means to me and, for the first time, tell the story about how this energy spontaneously awoke in me and changed my life.

Like all Sanskrit words, a simple word is packed with so much more meaning. This is a huge field of science and mysticism, so I will just be touching on the surface.

What is Shakti?

‘Shakti’ can be translated as “power”. It describes the dynamic and creative power, or intelligence, of life. We might refer to it also as  “life-force energy”.

Yep, it’s the subtle, non-visible stuff, that you and I are made of.

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How You show Me how to be a better Me – reflections from the Rest to Rise Retreat

I am just back from my 3-day  Rest to Rise Retreat up in the French Jura. I can’t believe I’ve been running these retreats now since 2011, sometimes 4 times a year, and every single time it’s different and every single time I grow. I am feeling so blessed and grateful right now. I am reminded of who I want to be.

Again and again, I am blown away by what happens on these retreats.

The people who show up, and I mean really show up, are like mirrors, reflecting back to me my fears and my pains, my self-doubt, and confusion, my shadow, and my light, my beauty, my strength, and my longing to live a Great life.

They are a direct reflection of my humanity and my divinity, standing before me, looking directly in my eyes.

Wow! That can feel really vulnerable at times, and really inspiring and empowering too.

I am reminded that when I show up when I relax into being myself, fully,...

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